


Sky and Earth

by aurrie



Series: all the galaxy's a stage [3]
Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Child of the Emperor!Consular, I haven't worked the kinks out yet, Mild Suicide Ideation, Other, but like uhhhh how Kira is suppressing it, sil is a self sacrificial bb, with a martyr complex the size of Alderaan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25516579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurrie/pseuds/aurrie
Summary: It's a a difficult call for Silanu. But it's even harder for Felix.
Relationships: Felix Iresso/Jedi Consular | Barsen'thor
Series: all the galaxy's a stage [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787530
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Sky and Earth

It's a long way down the hatch. After a few feet in there's just… darkness. Down there is where they'll find the First Son.

The briefing is over, and he's pulled them into an empty sideroom to talk about it. Because they're planning on going alone for reasons he's really objecting to.

"And you really…. you're really planning on pulling the cave down on the both of you if it goes south?" Felix whispers. "Isn't there any other way? Please?" And his voice and his heart are breaking, because Silanu has always been willing to sacrifice themself in the name of the greater good. But… this is an ultimatum they've put on themself. They're willing to die just to save the Republic.

That doesn't mean he can't be upset on their behalf, though. He doesn't like the idea of them being martyred. Not at all. It's not fair.

It never has been.

"I have to take that risk, Felix. If something… if something happens, either I can't break the First Son's shield or-- or I turn…" They look him in the eyes, bright blue, showing nothing but pure remorse. "I have to go alone."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't… I couldn't live with myself if I allowed that to happen. We've come so far and lost so many people that… we can't afford to. We have to make their deaths mean something. Ever since the Javelin… it's just been one fight after another. I can _end_ this. I have to be the one to do it. But," they say, and Felix might've heard their voice waver a little bit. "I can't lose you, Felix. I nearly lost you with the ship."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry for making you worry. But… I can't either, Sil. I can't lose you either."

"You know I'm the only one who can do this, Felix. It's not about me. It's… bigger than us."

He laughs, humourlessly. Ever the diplomat. That's why they were in charge of the Rift Alliance. Only they could wrangle a bunch of politicians that colourful. Only they could recruit Hallow Voice and the Voss commandos and healers through Gaden-Ko. Only Silanu could do the impossible day in and day out.

And only they can do this.

But didn't they deserve happiness too? Didn't they deserve to live?

But he knows, deep down, what he's asking of them is selfish. They'd never even entertain the thought of it. There's nothing he can to change their mind on this.

The life of a Jedi was always about sacrifice.

"Ok," Felix says with resigned acceptance. "If you're set on this, then I can't stop you. I know it's always had to be the Republic before yourself."

They bow their head and smile weakly. "That's how it has to be."

"That's how it has to be," he echoes, and Force, he wishes it didn't, tilting his head back and sighing. Then he gently takes both their hands from where they've bunched them up into the fabric of the front of their robes, and just… holds them. 

They're shaking.

He tries not to think that this might be the last time he'll be able to do this. It won't be. He's the optimist. Always has been.

"But promise. Promise me you'll try as hard as you can not to let it come to that. I have faith in you, Sil. So please," he pleads to them. Have faith in yourself." He says it with such conviction his voice shakes with the enormity of it. He hopes it can instill the same in them.

They nod, slowly in agreement, in understanding, and their eyes are glossy with tears that they're trying to blink back. He wipes the ones beginning to spill on their cheeks away with a sweep of his thumb. Silanu gives him a watery smile and sniffles. "I'll… I'll try."

"Okay," he says, and pulls them in to hug them, and kisses their forehead. "Okay. Come back to us safe, sweetheart. I'm holding you to it." And he kisses their cheek too for good measure before they pull apart, lingering there.

He watches them descend down the hatch, and waits. 

The countdown's begun.


End file.
